May 29, 2011
Yup, the title happens to be same as (and not coincidentally so) this song from 'Pyaar Ka Punchnama'. I think this is one movie which has shown romance in a new and fresh (not to mention kinda realistic in today's world) light.
I don't mean to be anything ranging from condescending to women, cynical or a love-hater here. Its just that having watched the Bollywood romantic drama for years now, and being a natural romantic, this was a perspective that caught my attention.
May I add here that I have seen a couple of couples (heh!) going through the entire lifetime of their relationships, right from the time they came together till they eventually broke up. And people (especially guys) coming from that group would identify with this movie more. I'm not implying any side to have been wrong in the aforementioned relationships. Things happen. Besides, we all have opinions when we ourselves are neither of the party but have any kind of attachment with either of the people in there. Other than that, this movie gave me perspective in a couple of other scenarios that I've seen happen to people around me. One of them was boyfriends cribbing about and foul-mouthing their girlfriends behind their backs. The other was when a friend of mine asked me "Come on, who's not happy being single?". My first instinct was to answer this question with a "So do people get into relationships so they can get unhappy?" but somehow I didn't go ahead with that.
Now as I happen to understand it, and being someone who puts in effort to understand behavioral patterns (of course, its no rocket science) we all do anything and everything for one damned reason which is- to feel happy. Correct me if I'm wrong (I know I ain't) but that's our aim whenever we do ANYTHING. Not just us humans, every living thing on the planet has a propensity to move into the direction of growth and joy. Relationships don't differ either. We get into a relationship thinking that we will be happy with that person (Duh! Why else would you get into a relationship? For pain?). The funny thing is, we break up with that person for the same reason- to be Happy again.
This makes me think- the person whose company was supposed to make us happy has now become a person we'd rather not be with/around. What changed? Us or them? Or both? Or neither, but the perspective did?
This is not specific to relationships. It applies to everything in our lives. We want that job because we think that the money it brings would make us happy. We want to live at some place because we think it feels good to live there. In fact, as I mentioned, this phenomenon applies to every decision in your life. That's the reason I learned this rule and I tell everyone to follow: Whenever making a decision, especially the important ones like love or career, ask yourself a 'Why?' if you're torn between choices. Judge them, not only against each other, but also on an absolute scale. There better be a damn good reason to do something. Because if you don't have a strong enough driving force, you'd want to bail out midway. Which implies you'd be wasting your and others' time and energy, amongst other resources. Anyways, being a person who's been single all his life, wait, did you ask 'Why'? This might not be the best place to follow the golden rule I just stated. Okay, I'll try to answer the question, if possible. Well, for one thing maybe you should ask the girls ;) As far as I am concerned, I've tried (and I don't mean pretended, or make-believe) being caring, sensitive, a good listener and similar things girls supposedly want. While we're at it, I'll let out a little secret (okay, maybe its no longer a secret) - Girls dig bad guys. When I say this, it is limited to my own experience, of the people around me, and a few million (billion?) others. Does that imply that the odds of you getting a girl are much higher when you're a stubborn I-don't-give-a-fuck jerk than when you're a romantic movie ka typical hero? I don't know, but somewhere I believe this might be true.
As I heard recently from a stand-up comic, 'Good boys get heaven, and bad boys get women'. That brings us to the 'good boys'. What are they for? Ever known the 'best friends' girls have? These are the guys they reach out to when the jerk of a boyfriend hurts them and they need someone. In comes the 'nice guy' who consoles the girl, wipes her tears, lends her a shoulder to cry on and listens to her. Guess what happens when the girl is done crying? More often than not, she returns to the jerk of a boyfriend who wouldn't think twice before hurting her again. No points for guessing what guys would rather want to be. Its as obvious as it gets.
Looks like I drifted off from the main topic (was there even a main topic? :P )
This movie gave me a perspective about being happy being single. I'm not making any claims about the possibility or probability of me getting, or not getting into a relationship. Its just the 'enjoy the show' part I'm talking about here.
Being a strong believer in things happening for a reason (its not all theory; I've had experiences in life which have strengthened my belief more than ever) I know this too (my single-hood) is for a reason. Maybe I'll get into a relationship with a person whom I'd want to spend the rest of my life with before my parents have to worry about finding a girl to arrange-marry me (that's the romantic me talking again). Maybe not. Why worry? For now, I'm gonna enjoy being single. Who knows, soon enough I might never get to be single again? ;) So its time to enjoy the show.
[Thought: Life's all about balance. Figure it out.] [Idea: Ishq Na Kariyo Kakke should be made the song of the year ;) ]